I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield:
Quotes by other comedians
Somebody put something in his mouth. My zipper's stuck.
I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.
Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.
Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. "Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!"
How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?