Quote by Rodney Dangerfield:

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown tie.

Comedian
Short bio
Jack Roy, popularly known by the stage name Rodney Dangerfield, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, producer, screenwriter, musician and author. He was known for his self-deprecating one-liner humor, his catchphrase "I get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme.

All quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

Quotes by other comedians

Somebody put something in his mouth. My zipper's stuck.

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.

Everyone is so weird in L.A. that if you're somewhat normal, it's exotic.

Halloween Costume I Hate: kids dressed as their parent's poltical beliefs. "Oooh! Aren't you a scary health care reform bill!"

How come the term 'threesome' is always used in a sexual context? What, nobody plays string instruments any more?