I don't get no respect. I called Suicide Prevention. They tried to talk me into it.
Quote by Rodney Dangerfield:
Quotes by other comedians
I'm not sure why I'm so often disgusting on stage. I don't always know where it comes from.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
And try as I might, I am having difficulty giving a fuck.
Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
I'm at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.