Quotes & Jokes by Brian Posehn / page 2

26 quotes

Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.

If I see a beautiful woman walking down the street, a pretty lady, I'll yell, 'Homo!' She can't get pissed, and I still get the pleasure of yelling at her.

Metal is the feeling of being an outsider, but still being part of something huge.

Honestly, it’s my experience that most people that totally suck at something think they are awesome. And a lot of people who think they suck are actually awesome.

Always been a big heavy metal fan. I remember being 15 saying, "Dude I'm going to love heavy metal forever. Heavy metal til I'm 60." I'm 35 now. I think I'm going to give it one more year.

Grew up in a small town where there was only one crazy guy. He didn't even go insane doing anything good, like going to 'Nam or having an extended acid trip. Turns out - legend has it - he just had some bad cheese.

Guys don't do that when they go out. Guys don't wear outfits that feature the dong.

I also smoke a lot of pot, occasionally, every day.

People Sinatra should have sung with? Slayer.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

When I'm late it matters, but when everybody else is late it doesn't matter... If that's the rule then just write it down and then I know, you know... I'll read it and I'll write it down on my balls. Right here. Right here on the back of my balls is where I'll write it. On the very back. I'll just lift them and write it nicely.