Quotes & Jokes by Sandra Bernhard

87 quotes

Madonna's got one big choice. Take a couple of years off and become a human being.

New York has always been a sense of eclectic kind of freedom and expression on a lot of different levels.

Of course, everybody's family is dysfunctional - we've accepted that. What are we supposed to do? Hate our parents for the rest of our lives?

I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.

When you have a knowledge of history, it's very soothing. When there's continuity in your life, it's soothing.

I think people are a little bit intimidated by me. You know, I'm not exactly a wilting flower, so I think they're a little bit scared of me sometimes.

I'm the only actress in Hollywood who didn't pay to have these lips.

Ellen's very mad at me. She's says if I want to start a war in the press, she's not the person to start with.

There will come a day when Anne Heche will be straight again.

My father was a proctologist; my mother was an abstract artist. That's how I view the world.

I really have a problem with any kind of drug, I always have.

Purim, one of my favorite holidays. It's like the original drag queen's holiday. It's when all the Jewish men go for it and feel no guilt for a change.

They want families to come to New York and go to the theater, so the theater is all geared toward family entertainment. It's money, you know.

I don't take things so personally in this business anymore.

You reach a certain point in your 30s when you say things in a much safer way.