Quotes & Jokes about Complaints / page 2

36 quotes

Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.

A friend is someone I complain to about my other friends.

If I stop complaining I'll have nothing to compain about.

Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?

I could never live with you; not 'cause I'm racist or nothing. It's just 'cause as a black man in America, I need to have someone I can come home and complain about white people to. And that just don't work with my white wife.

Jews and Blacks come from the same history - 2,000 years of bullshit. We just expressed our suffering differently as people. Blacks developed the blues. Jews complain, we just never thought of putting it to music.

I love when people in New York City complain about your smoking. Isn't that great? Yeah. These people are standing ankle-deep in dog links, straddling a dead guy, you know. Apparently my cigarette's fucking up the delicate balance of nature here.

I've eaten things that didn't complain this much.

People would like to place a standard on our show that doesn't exist. We're not set up for reporting; we don't have an apparatus for that. We're discussing things that hopefully people might get something out of, but it's wildly inconsistent. Just because we hit on points that resonate, or people think are real complaints - that doesn't make us journalists.

I think anybody that protests at a comedy club is too easy. If you have problems and issues, you need to go to the White House and complain to Congress. Don’t come to a comedy club and bitch. That’s too easy.

It's very awkward to be kind of big in your own field. It limits what you're offered. People are swayed by the fact that you're a comedian or a musician or whatever they think you are. When it comes to choosing you, they get a bit shaky about offering you a different type of role. But I've really been very lucky. When you compare me to other comedians, I`ve been very fortunate. So you`ll get no complaints.

A lot of people complain in the year 2003 that it's not the world of tomorrow as foreseen in the 1950s. 'Where are the flying cars?' people say. 'Where are the robots who bring us blue drinks and warn us of danger?' Alright. We don't have those things, specifically, folks, but you know what we do have? Laser vaginal rejuvenation surgery.

The other thing is that I’m a pretty moody guy, but no one really wants to see a normal-looking guy complain about things or talk about being unhappy. That’s hard. Most people are like, ‘Well, you have all your hair and you’re tall, so why are you unhappy?’ That can be limiting.

My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!

No woman can be completely happy at any one moment in time. They're always anticipating the next thing to argue or complain about.