Quotes & Jokes about Sex / page 2


I love my girlfriend, don't get me wrong. I truly love this woman, but I have the ability to have sex without any emotional involvement. It's a gift.

The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people and don't come in clearly enough.

I'm pretty sure 100% of animal sex is rape. It's just all rape.

It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

Sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship.

My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, "Adam - uh, don't kiss guys."

Sex is important to guys. We need stories to tell our friends.

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.

The first time I had sex, I didn't know what I was doing. It was a relief when the whole thing was over after just 45 minutes.

When did sex become a bad thing? Did I miss a meeting?

This is the amount of time you think about sex: every once in a while. The problem becomes, when you think about it, it's all you can think about. It encompasses your whole brain. You're like a fucking werewolf or something. Usually you're a civilized human being, but then every couple of days, you?re like 'arrrgh.' Then you've got to close the blinds.

Sex is great, but when you get to be my age, you've got to pace it a little bit. Otherwise you get tired.

I figured out I'm bisexual. I have sex twice a year.

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did.

Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"