Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Worth

Top 15 Quotes (out of 47)

#1

I was having sex with this girl. And we were towards the end. And she goes, “Fuck me hard with that n-word dick.” And I stop… look at her right in the eye… and I came harder that I ever cum before. It was so awesome, you guys… It was almost worth being black my entire life.

3,062
#2

Moving to Australia was not a career move, but a quality of life issue. It has no guns, no God, and no gangster rap. As an Ethiopian cab driver said to me the other day when I was returning from a gig in Sydney, "Australia is a peaceful, democratic place." I like the relatively stress free lifestyle. It's worth the drop in income.

250
#3

What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn't it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, "It's gonna be worth it!".

153
#4

If it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.

110
#5

Because the unexamined life is not worth living, man.

51
#6

I think a lot of women look at prostitutes like they’re scabs crossing an union picket line, where they go: "You can’t just go out and sell it for what it’s worth, we’re holding out for so much more!"

38
#7

If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

34
#8

I got sober. I stopped killing myself with alcohol. I began to think: 'Wait a minute - if I can stop doing this, what are the possibilities?' And slowly it dawned on me that it was maybe worth the risk.

25
#9

I feel worthless. My girlfriend was attacked on the subway yesterday. And I can't even enjoy it.

22
#10

A lot of good has come from drugs. I think "Penny Lane" is worth 10 dead kids. Dark Side of the Moon is worth 100 dead kids. Because a lot of kids wouldn't even be born if it weren't for that album, so it evens out.

21
#11

Yes I'm grown and sexy, and I'm worth the wait. Girls act like I'm the only dude on earth to date.

18
#12

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

14
#13

A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

9
#14

You need an audience to help you figure out what’s working and what’s worth putting on your album or your special - or even just what’s worth touring with.

9
#15

Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind.

7