Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Attitude

Top 15 Most Popular Quotes (out of 28)

#1

It's in the Ten Commandments to not take the Lord's name in vain. Rape isn't up there, by the way. Rape is not a Ten Commandment. But don't say the dude's name with a shitty attitude.

220
#2

My father always dressed nice, and he always wore shades and a hat. Plus he always wore shined shoes. He taught me: “Always get there before you get there.” That means always dress nice. Even if you’re not the most handsome man in the world, you must have handsome characteristics, such as a handsome personality and attitude.

31
#3

The only appropriate attitude for man to have about the big questions, is not the arrogant certitude that is the hallmark of religion, but doubt. Doubt is humble and that is what man needs to be, considering that human history is just a litany of getting shit dead wrong.

18
#4

Google is ridiculous. Everyone uses Google, and that's why Google has such an attitude. Because it's so popular, it's conceited. I mean, it has a serious attitude. Have you tried misspelling something lately? See the tone that it takes? 'Um, did you mean...?'

16
#5

Fuck it... That's really the attitude that keeps a family together, it's not "we love each other", it's just "fuck it, man."

15
#6

I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were better than the white shows. The Jeffersons was a lot better. Good Times was way funnier. Sanford and Son. Now, though, everyone thinks we're equal, so we submit the same s... that everyone else submits. And then we get mad when they won't air it. You got to go back to the old attitude of it has to be twice as good.

7
#7

You can't bring tweezers on an airplane. If I'm on a plane and you try to hijack it with tweezers, I'll whip your ass, man. You think I'm going to be late because you've got tweezers and a bad attitude?

6
#8

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

6
#9

When you ain't got no money, you gotta get an attitude.

6
#10

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

5
#11

You know, I always say white is not a colour, white is an attitude, and if you haven't got trillions of dollars in the bank that you don't need, you can't be white.

4
#12

Well, that's exactly the wrong attitude. That is not the attitude they had in World War II. Your attitude is that freedom means you can do whatever you want whenever you want it, and that sacrifice is somehow un-American. But the idea that we should also be defensive about our flaws and weaknesses and our vulnerabilities is ridiculous.

4
#13

I read something in the paper that really confused me the other day. It said that 80 percent of the people in New York are minorities... Shouldn't you not call them minorities when they get to be 80 percent of the population? That's a very white attitude, don't you think? I mean, you could take a white guy to Africa and he'd be like 'Look at all the minorities around here! I'm the only majority.'

3
#14

My characters all start with rhythms and sounds. Once I hear the voice and get into the rhythm, the attitude and the physicality just come out on their own.

3
#15

The reality is I'm not this person with this driving 'get it done' attitude.

2