Comedians' Quotes and Jokes about Obama

Top 15 Quotes (out of 47)


The only black part about Barack Obama is that that nigga don’t know his dad!


After President Obama, President Rodriguez... What’s the worse that can happen? The border problem gets solved and the White House lawn looks better?


If you vote against Obama because he can't get stuff done, it’s kind of like saying 'This guy can’t cure cancer. I’m gonna vote for cancer.'


Obama had all the right ingredients that came together at the right time. He’s tall, good-looking, articulate, highly intelligent, smooth under pressure, charismatic. And most importantly, the right shade. He made white people feel comfortable. Because y’all know if that nigga was Bernie Mac black or precious purple, he wouldn’t have won. He’s like coffee with cream, it goes down easy.


It's kind of redundant - have a black dude wearing an Obama shirt. Everybody's like, 'Yeah, we know. You like Obama; we get it.' It's just like, I would do the same thing. I realize that it's kind of redundant. I don't go up to white people wearing Coldplay shirts. 'You like Coldplay? For how long? Forever?'


I appreciate the fact that Obama is the 'tech President'. I kinda like that, isn't that kinda cool? You see him, he's on his Blackberry. I'm like 'Is he playing BrickBreaker right now?'. He does like YouTube updates. Doesn't that have to be cool? Like you log in to your Myspace in the middle of the night and 'Oh fuck, Obama's on'. You can write to him 'Obama, what are you doing?'. 'Oh, I just downloaded that video of the kid shooting himself in the nipple with the paintball gun. You gotta see that. And I'm working on some legislation too'. 'Oh, good stuff. Obama, you on Facebook?'. 'Na, I got poked by a zombie and the Secret Service took me outta there, so...'.


Barack Obama may be black, but John McCain is the first Albino presidential candidate: he's completely see-through!


We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize.


When he was coming up, people were like, 'We have a serious black candidate for president. This is crazy. We have a serious black candidate.' And then when he won, they were like, 'Our first multi-racial president.' And I was like, 'That's not fair.' I mean, let's set the record straight. If you went outside tonight after this show and Barack Obama was stealing your car, you wouldn't yell, 'Hey, someone stop that mixed guy!'


Now that Obama is at war in a 3rd country, does that mean he has to give back his Nobel Peace Prize?


Obama said he went to Libya because of his conscience. Did anyone ever wrestle with his conscience and lose?


According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be just the top 1 percent.


I do have to say that I think that President Obama is the greatest President in the history of all of our Presidents, and that he can do no wrong in my book. So how's that for prejudice on the Democratic side?


My Obama is getting pretty good ... I think I'll vote for whoever makes my portrayal easier. It takes time to put together a comic impression. It takes time to recognize the tics. Right now, for instance, I could do a dead- on Paul Ryan and people wouldn't recognize it. Personalities take a while to sin...


But there are some nice aspects during the transition period. For example, the Bush twins gave the Obama girls a tour of the White House. It was very sweet, but the Obama girls got really scared because they heard creepy organ music coming from Cheney's underground lair.