Quotes & Jokes about Television / page 2

54 quotes

But it’s like guys are thinking, "I don't want to fuck her, what is she doing on my television?"

I don't like to watch golf on television because I can't stand people who whisper.

People have romantic notions about television. In the highest realms they think it's some sort of art medium, and it's not. Others think it's an entertainment medium, it's not that either. It's an advertising medium. It's a method to deliver advertising like a cigarette is a method to deliver nicotine.

Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

You know you're out of shape when you have a heart attack when you're watching television.

I have children. I have a family to support. But I really could live in a one-room apartment, as long as the television worked. I never needed anything. Just a comfortable chair and I'm fine.

I don't like this reality television, I have to be honest, ... I think real people should not be on television. It's for special people like us, people who have trained and studied to appear to be real.

Television for a child creates such a high bar of stimulus that nothing else competes. A beautiful day is absolute crap to a kid who watches tv.

I've just seen really, really funny guys, and if I didn't know them, I wouldn't know they were funny from the television. I don't know what it does, it just sucks it away.

I was on CNN in Atlanta at one o'clock in the afternoon because apparently everybody else was asleep, and they asked me what I thought of CNN and I said, "I liked CNN until you started that writing on the bottom." I don't know why it's there. Why do you put writing on a television set? We watch TV because we don't wanna read! We want somebody to read the shit to us so we can close our eyes and touch our nuts!

I don’t know if you can tell, but I grew up watching a lot of television.

All television is an advertisement - that’s why it exists. It wasn’t the art-form first and then the commerce - it was that they could put on entertainment long enough to distract people into looking at products. It’s for focusing people on advertising and separating you from money in some way. Some people forget that. The side product is that we get some great eye candy. TV is the best it has ever been right now. I don’t have a problem with that since it’s what keep us employed.

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television.