Stand-Up Comedy Quotes and Jokes

Top 15 Most Popular Quotes (out of 16192)

#16186

It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.

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#16187

I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

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#16188

I do something about the weather. I stay home.

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#16189

Every time you use the phrase all my life it has a different meaning.

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#16190

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

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#16191

My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.

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#16192

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.

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