Adam Sandler


I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That’s a lot of coloring when you think about it.

It’s horrible being alone. I threw a surprise party for myself. I parked the car down the street. Tried to fool myself. I set up a piñata up with a blindfold and a baseball bat and ended up my neighbor’s house, beating up their grandmother.

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she'll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

I don't laugh at me. I used to. I used to get the giggles when I'd see myself. But now, I see myself onscreen, and I sure don't laugh.

My name is Adam. My father’s name is Adam. Having the same name as your father, it’s alright until your voice changes. My friends would always call up, “Is Adam there?” My father would say, “This is Adam.” My friends would say, “Adam, you were so wasted last night.”

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