Quotes & Jokes by Adam Sandler


Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue...

Its too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here.

We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too big.

I don't want want to go to jail, I'm fragile.

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?

I never had a speech from my father "this is what you must do or shouldn't do" but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect.

Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass.

Now that's what I call high quality H2O.

I’ve got a hockey record, I took off my skate and tried to stab a guy, I’m the only person who ever tried that.

Wasted is when you have a hankering for ice cream.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff.

I bought my parents some stuff. That feels kind of good to be able to do that. I got them a place in Florida. I think I'm allowed to say that - I hope my dad doesn't get mad at me. But I don't spend money on myself. I don't like myself enough yet. But the people I love, I like spending the cash on them.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.<br /> Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.