Alonzo Bodden

Quotes

Women like jewelry. They’re like racoons: show them some shiny stuff and they’ll follow you home.

Comedy is the drug, when they laugh it's like I'm a jazz musician and they hear it, and they get it. It's power to take the crowd wherever I want them to go. I love it when they laugh, especially when they relate through laughter. It's a beautiful thing. It also means I'm going to get paid, which is nice.

I was teaching airplane mechanics when I realized it was more fun to make them laugh. I was laid off one more time and I never looked back, although it was nice to have a steady paycheck and benefits.

I got to be funny, I can't dunk.

I wish airplanes were more like elementary school with someone up front telling everyone to sit down and shut up.

All quotes and jokes