Artie Lange

Quotes

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.

All quotes and jokes