Bernard Manning
Quotes
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
Quasimodo was running down the street chased by a group of kids. He said, ‘For the last time, I haven’t got your football.’
I don’t believe Scots are as tight as people say, but I did hear that when two taxis collided in Glasgow recently 48 people were injured.
'Seriously folks, I didn't mean that. My grandfather died at Auschwitz' - crowd goes quiet - 'Very sad. He fell out of the machine gun tower'.
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