Bernard Manning

Quotes

I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.

I don’t believe Scots are as tight as people say, but I did hear that when two taxis collided in Glasgow recently 48 people were injured.

Tony Adams, on his first day in prison, was complaining because he wanted the walls back 12 yards.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

Two old maids on a beach, streaker ran past, one had a stroke, the other one couldn’t reach.

All quotes and jokes