He rules the country with an iron fist - the same way he plays the piano.
Everything Reagan does, Gorbachev does him one better. Reagan wears the flag of his country on his lapel. Gorby wears the map of his country on his forehead.
Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.
Today's ballroom dances like the swim, the frug, the chicken and the monkey are really nervous disorders set to music.
Three of my stocks went off the financial page - into the help-wanted section.All quotes and jokes