Bob Hope


He rules the country with an iron fist - the same way he plays the piano.

Everything Reagan does, Gorbachev does him one better. Reagan wears the flag of his country on his lapel. Gorby wears the map of his country on his forehead.

Wine, women and song have been replaced by prune juice, a heating pad and the Gong Show.

My folks were English. They were too poor to be British. I still have a bit of British in me. In fact, my blood type is solid marmalade.

He plays just like a union man. He negotiates the final score.

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