Bob Monkhouse

Quotes

I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard.

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.

I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

All quotes and jokes
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