Bonnie McFarlane


Sometimes when I’m bored, I like to people watch. And I got to a touristy area and I play this game I just made up. I call it "Lesbian or Midwestern?"

Is being earnest important? I always think it's kind of embarrassing.

I know environmentalists exist, but whenever I see a guy on a bike, I don't think, 'Oh, sweet, there goes an environmentalist.' I'm always like, 'That poor sucker got a DUI.'

If you really are superior, you don't go around saying you're superior - unless you're Jewish.

Never hit a baby, even if they start it.

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