Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.
I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.
Guys don't do that when they go out. Guys don't wear outfits that feature the dong.
When I'm late it matters, but when everybody else is late it doesn't matter... If that's the rule then just write it down and then I know, you know... I'll read it and I'll write it down on my balls. Right here. Right here on the back of my balls is where I'll write it. On the very back. I'll just lift them and write it nicely.
Always been a big heavy metal fan. I remember being 15 saying, "Dude I'm going to love heavy metal forever. Heavy metal til I'm 60." I'm 35 now. I think I'm going to give it one more year.All quotes and jokes