Buddy Hackett

Quotes

The whole thing is if the dog’s in the room with you during sex and you don’t know he’s there. And you’re going pretty good and you hear an extra set of breathing. You’re scared to open your eyes. You think the kids are selling tickets or something.

It's only a joke and the duck didn't really die, and you conservationists are probably all pure vegetarians and don't eat meat or anything like that and you're worried...I hope a butterfly flies up your nose you choke to death!

A guy said to me, “There’s only 10 snow geese left in the world.” I said, “One shits on my car, there’ll be 9.”

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

All quotes and jokes