Carol Leifer

Quotes

I’m sorry I didn’t have this revelation earlier. I sleep better and more soundly because I’m not participating anymore.

I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it.

I feel I've always got to keep my stand-up because I never want to lose it.

Growing up, it was always, ‘If you buy kosher meat, they’re killed humanely.’ But I’ve seen so many horrible videos. What we thought was humane 100 years ago is not humane anymore. The ways animals suffer, I just couldn’t be a part of it anymore.

Oh man, I get a lot of junk email. Isn't it annoying? Clutters everything up. I'm starting to sense a theme, though. Apparently, there's a lot of people out there that want to make my penis three inches longer.

All quotes and jokes