Chelsea Handler


I went out with a guy the other night. He goes, “You know, Chelsea, you don’t have to drink to make yourself more fun to be around.” I’m like, “Listen, fucknut, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.”

First of all, i’m not an actor - I’m an asshole.

My father has a high opinion of his opinion.

If someone took the ‘F’ letter off me, I’d be ucked.

We women have to stick together.

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