Chris Hardwick

Quotes

Never go online to self-diagnose. Ever. Don’t fucking do it.

When I was in grade school I was into chess club, Latin club, D&D, computer camp - everything that made vaginas go away.

Be offended by everything or be offended by nothing.

I couldn't do sports and so in my head I was like, 'Ladies will see my hand to hand dexterity and they will want these hands inside them.' First of all, flawed, you're juggling balls.

You don't have to believe everything you think.

All quotes and jokes