Chris Hardwick

Chris Hardwick
Christopher Ryan Hardwick is an American stand-up comedian, actor, television host, writer, producer, and podcaster.
Comedian in a nutshell
Chris Hardwick
Chris Hardwick
Chris Hardwick

Quotes

I realized my penis is like a retarded little brother. It means well, but ultimately it's driven by curiosity and the need to be hugged.

Don't try to talk to me about sports. If a guy comes up and starts spitting out stats and what happened in the most recent game, to me, all he's saying is: 'Hey let's punch each other in the cock right after we pound these energy drinks out of a douche while we fuck our Ed Hardy t-shirts at dickhead camp.'

Kids who are the product of old sperm are not right. The fresher the mayo, the better the sandwich. That is a very simple formula.

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