Dana Gould

Quotes

The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.

One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.

Earthquakes would be great if they could hit specific areas, like the parent lounge at a children's beauty pageant.

"Scatterbrain" is one of those harmless little words you use a million times... Then it turns up in a crime scene description.

Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

All quotes and jokes