One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.
Every time I fold the baby's clothes I feel like a giant that got a housekeeping job with a nice family.
My father hauled boxes so I could get an education and earn enough money to pay someone to make me lift weights.
There's something vaguely erotic about watching a woman eat a banana while cupping two plums.
If I masturbate while Googling myself, which part is more redundant?All quotes and jokes