My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul. That or he wants this pork chop.
There's nothing like a clown with a boner to remind you that you're having a nightmare.
When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.
A big blizzard proves there's no global warming in the same way being out of milk proves there's no such thing as cows.
Long story longer...All quotes and jokes