Dana Gould

Quotes

The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.

One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.

Earthquakes would be great if they could hit specific areas, like the parent lounge at a children's beauty pageant.

I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's still not working.

Showing joy by jumping up and down and clapping goes away at some point between pre-school and being old enough to go to orgies.

All quotes and jokes