Dana Gould

Quotes

The best part of living in constant terror is you always have a place to live.

One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.

Alien abductions. I don't believe in them because it's always the same circumstances, the same type of people, the same situations. It's never a black guy; it's never a Hispanic guy; it's never a physicist from the Netherlands - it's always some dumb white fuck in the middle of nowhere.

One of the coolest things about the word "boobs" is, when you look at it, it has boobs.

Earthquakes would be great if they could hit specific areas, like the parent lounge at a children's beauty pageant.

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