Daniel Tosh


Your body just said no to pie. It’s not going to say yes to puke.

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.

I can say that. I have a television show.

In his defense the alternative was a cinder block. Have you ever punched a cinder block!? Those things are made of… Cinder!

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