Dave Attell
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Quotes
You gotta make your own fun (Audience member cheers). That's right, listen to that mother of two, she knows what I'm talking about.
Every dude in here has had a fantasy about Jessica Simpson. Here's mine: Jessica, hold your sister Ashlee so I can kick her in the throat.
Don't get me wrong, I like to cuddle. But there is such a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so that they can't get away.
When I first saw a strap on, I put it on my head and ran around like a rhino.
If I need directions, I’m not asking a man with one tooth. I’m asking a man with one leg. Because he definitely knows the easiest way to get there.
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