I was an actor in college and it was much easier than being a waiter. I thought it was fun to get paid. People were not exactly surprised to see me going in the field.
We lost my grandmother recently. No, she didn't die - we lost her. She actually shrunk to the point we can't find her anymore. It's so sad 'cause we know she's still in the house, she's just not visible to the naked eye.
Oh, that's very profound, 'Insight Man'.
I love that red wine is good for you. Isn't that cool? I want to hear more of this. I want to hear more things in life like, "Red wine, in conjunction with a lap dance, while watching NFL football, is the best cardiovascular workout you can have."
That's one thing nobody ever bitching about in a restaurant - parsley. You never see some indignant customer: "Waiter, please! Can we get a little more parsley over here?"All quotes and jokes