Doug Benson

Quotes

Like most comics, I just broke up with my girlfriend and the reason we broke up is I caught her lying… under another man.

I just broke up with my girl friend, i caught her lying....under another man.

I hate how all the hip hop bands of today will put crazy sound effects into their songs. You know what I mean, like a police or ambulance siren in a tune? Because I could own the CD, I could listen to it 50 gamillion times in my car - I still fall for it every time.

Everyone wants to look good in photographs, even us trolls who tell jokes.

I have been in kind of a sexual dry spell lately. In the past few years I’ve only had sex in months that end in "arch"... in years that have an Olympics.

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