Dov Davidoff

Quotes

You know you’re too high when you’re eating cereal naked and your girlfriend is like “Put some clothes on” and you realize that it’s not your girlfriend. It’s just a woman on the bus.

If procrastination were a marketable skill, I'd be a real hot commodity.

Writing good jokes requires effort. Think I'll just start dressing funnier.

I have a sneaking suspicion that leading an examined life and being really tan aren't consistent with one another.

Please use anger for something positive like hurting people that deserve it or writing jokes.

All quotes and jokes