Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff
Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.
My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.
First it was the priests, then the thing with the boy scouts, and then it was Michael - now, it's the priests. It seems like every time adults are really hanging out with these boys - if this stuff is so prevalent, maybe we should stop pointing the finger at the adults, start looking at these sexy-ass boys.
Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
We were standing next to this guy with a bandana and a tattooed teardrop and a knife, and I said to my friend, 'I don't want to hang out here.' My friend said, 'Don't judge people.' I said, 'The dude's got a knife.' He said, 'He could be a chef.'
The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.
The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
Whoever said "life without love isn't worth living" didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
Getting knee surgery - X girlfriend asked if I needed any help. My answer; no. My thought; I'd rather die than accept your help.