Quotes & Jokes by Dov Davidoff
Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.
My dad was old school Jewish. Not do your taxes Jewish - steal your car Jewish.
If no-eye contact sex were a sport, I'm not saying I'd make it to the Olympics, but I like my chances.
First it was the priests, then the thing with the boy scouts, and then it was Michael - now, it's the priests. It seems like every time adults are really hanging out with these boys - if this stuff is so prevalent, maybe we should stop pointing the finger at the adults, start looking at these sexy-ass boys.
Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.
We were standing next to this guy with a bandana and a tattooed teardrop and a knife, and I said to my friend, 'I don't want to hang out here.' My friend said, 'Don't judge people.' I said, 'The dude's got a knife.' He said, 'He could be a chef.'
The language of love may be universal, but it's not one of the options on an ATM machine.
Marriage is supposed to be permanent. It's like a tattoo that yells at you.
The entertainment business is to business what plastic flowers are to flowers.
The Nazis were well dressed. Today's racists are a rag-tag bunch with no sense of style or panache.
Whoever said "life without love isn't worth living" didn't own an iPhone. These things are great.
Getting knee surgery - X girlfriend asked if I needed any help. My answer; no. My thought; I'd rather die than accept your help.