Eddie Izzard

Quotes

If you’re a transvestite, you’re actually a male tomboy. That’s where the sexuality is… So it’s running, jumping, climbing trees, putting on makeup when you’re up there.

My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper. I want to follow in their footsteps. And their footsteps were like this. (Runs screaming) AAAAAAAH! I'm covered in beeeeees!

No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?"

Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. And monkeys do too… if they have a gun.

I like my coffee like I like my women...covered in beeees!

All quotes and jokes