Eugene Mirman

Quotes
I don’t have a kid. I think that I would be a good father… especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.
Don't get me wrong - I'll put $25 on the ground and then if you pick it up and we have sex in an alley, that's not a crime. That's a coincidence.
I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.
To create a comedy major, I ended up starting a comedy night in the basement of my dorm, and I promoted and produced my final project, which meant I faxed press releases from an old Apple IIC, or whatever it was, to newspapers, not knowing if that would work or if that's how you do things.
I forget, is freedom of speech when it's legal to say what you want or is it when it has no consequences for some reason?
All quotes and jokes