Felipe Esparza

Quotes

I think I'm going to put baby powder all over my legs before this walk just to be safe.

I used to work at UPS I got fired for unloading packages into my car.

I didn’t know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That’s what I learned. I didn’t know how to put a set together.

You know you're getting older when your haters now want to kill you.

We all have a best friend in here. Every man in here has a best friend. The only reason you hangout with him is because his life sucks more than yours.

All quotes and jokes