Felipe Esparza

Quotes

I think I'm going to put baby powder all over my legs before this walk just to be safe.

I used to work at UPS I got fired for unloading packages into my car.

I didn’t know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That’s what I learned. I didn’t know how to put a set together.

We all have a best friend in here. Every man in here has a best friend. The only reason you hangout with him is because his life sucks more than yours.

You know you're getting older when your haters now want to kill you.

All quotes and jokes