Frank Carson

Quotes

I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.

I'm staying in a lovely hotel, dressing robe behind the door, lovely fluffy sheets - took me a half an hour getting my suitcase closed.

I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."

The Irish Six Million Dollar man only cost three quid.

What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

All quotes and jokes