Frank Carson

Quotes

I was in a panto last year, Aladdin and The Wonderful Lamp. I played the wick. I got the sack because I was too well-oiled every night.

What's the difference between my wife and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist.

I bought these shoes in Taiwan, and they said in the inside "made around the corner."

I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.

Doctor told me I've got two weeks to live. I said: "Can I have the last week in July and the 1st week in August?"

All quotes and jokes