People don't know how to behave in public anymore.
Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the headboard and come back for another lap? 'Gee, Nadia, that was perfect! That full twisting dismount wasn't bad either, babe!'
Well, let me welcome myself to Texas. Where a man comes home and hangs his hat on his lap.
I know you people, you're the smart ones. You're not the ones going down the freeway with a seatbelt hanging out the door makin' sparks. You're not the ones goin' over the overpass with the turn signal on. Where are they gonna turn? You almost wish they would.
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes... why can't they make the whole plane out of the same material?All quotes and jokes