Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, "No ... he's dead.''
If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.
I lie a lot, but when I write about Gracie, I don't have to lie. The truth is unbelievable enough.All quotes and jokes