George Burns


I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, "No ... he's dead.''

Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

Be sure to wear a good cologne, a nice aftershave lotion, and a strong underarm deodorant. And it might be a good idea to wear some clothes, too.

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