George Burns

Quotes

How can I die? I'm booked.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, "No ... he's dead.''

There will always be a battle between the sexes because men and women want different things. Men want women and women want men.

Retire? I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the only one left.

All quotes and jokes