George Burns


When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, "No ... he's dead.''

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

How can I die? I'm booked.

Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it.

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