George Carlin

Quotes

“No comment” is a comment.

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.

There’s a lot of little phrases in the language that don’t say what they mean. Take a shit is one. You don’t take a shit, you leave a shit. That’s the whole idea! To leave it!

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

You can say prick on television. If it happens to your finger it’s alright. You can prick your finger, just don’t finger your prick.

All quotes and jokes