George Carlin

Quotes

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

“Meow” means “woof” in cat.

“No comment” is a comment.

There’s a lot of little phrases in the language that don’t say what they mean. Take a shit is one. You don’t take a shit, you leave a shit. That’s the whole idea! To leave it!

You can say prick on television. If it happens to your finger it’s alright. You can prick your finger, just don’t finger your prick.

All quotes and jokes