Henny Youngman

Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy!

My wife ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" "No, jump in!"

A little Jewish Grandma is at the Florida coast with her little Jewish Grandson. The grandson is playing on the beach when a big wave comes and washes the kid out to sea. The lifeguards swim out, bring him back to shore, the paramedics work on him for a long time, pumping the water out, reviving him. They turn to the Jewish Grandma, and say, "we saved your grandson." The little Jewish Grandma says, "He had a hat!"