Jay Leno

Quotes

So China's president Hu Jintao meets, uh - meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?"

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

NBC - no body cares.

In a speech yesterday John Kerry said that before November he may go to Iraq. Is that a good idea for him to go to Iraq? You thought Bush didn't have a reason to bomb Iraq before.

According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair?

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