Jay Leno

Quotes

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair?

NBC - no body cares.

A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up.

In spite of the poor economy, almost 70 percent of Americans occasionally splurge on luxury items - like a blanket on a plane, or a peanut.

All quotes and jokes
Profile was viewed 371 times