Jay Leno

Quotes

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured when they tried to jump on our bandwagon.

Be honest. How many of you never heard of Marco Rubio until last night? How many thought Marco Rubio was a game you played in a pool with the kids?

According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair?

A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up.

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