Jay Leno

Quotes

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

So China's president Hu Jintao meets, uh - meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?"

NBC - no body cares.

There was another war-related casualty today. The French were injured when they tried to jump on our bandwagon.

According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair?

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