Jay Leno

Quotes

So China's president Hu Jintao meets, uh - meets America's president. It's like President "Who?" meeting President "Huh?"

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

NBC - no body cares.

Be honest. How many of you never heard of Marco Rubio until last night? How many thought Marco Rubio was a game you played in a pool with the kids?

Did you hear that we're writing Iraq's new Constitution? Why not just give them ours? We're not using it anymore.

All quotes and jokes