Johnny Carson
Quotes
I hated my last boss. He asked, “Why are you two hours late?” I said, “I fell downstairs.” He said, “That doesn’t take two hours.”
I am taking the applause sign home, putting it in the bedroom.
An oxymoron? What's that? A moron who studies at Oxford?
We have two kinds of air: regular and chunky style.
Ed and I were out last night and I asked him why he drank so much. He said he drank to forget. I asked him, "To forget what?" And he said he couldn't remember.
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