How the hell do you wake up dead?
These glasses are way 2 big for my damn face! I look like I got on a damn Tinted Construction Mask.
My baby is weird man... when he get mad, he gets in the oven.
Ever argue with a female and in the middle of the argument you no longer feel safe… You know what my girl will do? When she get mad, she’ll start talking in third person. That’s scary as hell because that’s her way of telling me that from this point on she’s not responsible for none of her actions.
One time, she got me so mad, we got into a fist fight. You know how you know when you lost a fight to your woman? When the cops come to your house and ask you do you want to press charges. That's how you know it didn't go as you planned.All quotes and jokes