Lee Mack

Quotes

I was on a phone call with the HSBC and they said when are you gonna pay off this overdraft? I said you know what outside southeast asia its rude to call people up and ask them for money!

We've had to get a live-in nanny, 'cos that dead one wasn't working out.

(about cars) “I would say ‘has it got a cup holder, and will it make birds touch my cock?’”

What do you call a blonde with brains. A labrador.

I got recognized today in Dixons, a member of staff came up to me and said ‘hey your that mad bloke off the tele’, I went ‘thats me’, and he went ‘no, your that mad bloke….off the tele!’

All quotes and jokes