Lee Mack

Quotes

I was on a phone call with the HSBC and they said when are you gonna pay off this overdraft? I said you know what outside southeast asia its rude to call people up and ask them for money!

We've had to get a live-in nanny, 'cos that dead one wasn't working out.

(about cars) “I would say ‘has it got a cup holder, and will it make birds touch my cock?’”

What do you call a blonde with brains. A labrador.

I was told by the doctor that I was infertile and I couldn't have children, 3 weeks after that he told me that my girlfriend was pregnant....who's the daddy?

All quotes and jokes