A lot of people say to me, “Why did you kill Christ?” I dunno… it was one of those parties that got out of hand.
If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career.
I want to perform an unnatural act.
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.All quotes and jokes