A lot of people say to me, “Why did you kill Christ?” I dunno… it was one of those parties that got out of hand.
If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career.
The "what should be" never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no "what should be," there is only what is.
The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
I sort of felt sorry for the damned flies. They never hurt anybody. Even though they were supposed to carry diseases I never heard of anybody saying they caught something form a fly. My cousin gave two guys the clap and nobody ever whacked her with a paper.All quotes and jokes