Milton Berle


All my wife wanted for Valentine’s Day was a little card – American Express.

Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I’d told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

She was nice to him on Valentine’s Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

All quotes and jokes
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