Milton Berle


She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

All my wife wanted for Valentine’s Day was a little card – American Express.

Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I’d told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.

My son really has the spirit of Valentine’s Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

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