If anybody comes up to you and says, "My kid is a conservative - why is that?" you say, "Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?"
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
I found people looked better when they laughed.
Those who the gods would make rich and famous on TV, they first drive mad.
Bush is the face on the can. But who canned that soup?All quotes and jokes