Patton Oswalt

Quotes

But the one recurring motif in these [80s] videos that I wish would come back were the bands that could rock so hard, they could change the physical properties of things. They would blow holes through walls or they’d walk up to your crappy Geo and go - SCRIBBLY FLABBIDY DOO - and all of sudden it’s a sleek Lamborgini.

Zombies can't believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as pain-go-bye-bye juice?

George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.

90% of every art form is garbage - dance and stand-up, painting and music. Focus on the 10% that's good, suck it up, and drive on.

All quotes and jokes