Phyllis Ada Diller was an American actress and comedienne, best known for her eccentric stage persona, her self-deprecating humor, her wild hair and clothes, and her exaggerated, cackling laugh.
My husband, Fang, is so dumb I once said, "There’s a dead bird." He looked up.
When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance.
I was the world's ugliest baby. When I was born, the doctor slapped everybody.