Phyllis Diller


I never made “Who’s Who” but I’m featured in “What’s That?”

I’ll tell you what I don’t like about Christmas office parties: looking for a new job afterward.

Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

My father used to call me the laughing hyena.

Fang says he eats a lot to settle his nerves. I said, "Have you seen where they’re settling?"

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