It is our swan song, and winning kind of symbolizes the closure at the end, and I miss it already. I'm gonna go bawl now.
Without identical twins, you’ll never get to experience entering a hotel room with one of them and watching him run into the full-length mirror because he though he saw his brother.
I'm a little different from the average dude because I'm on high-def TV now.
It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.
This year, I will hug my wife more. Or have my assistant hug her more for me.All quotes and jokes