Richard Lewis

Quotes

The biggest plus of marriage is finally realizing that we are alone.

I'll never die. Been there done that.

When I die I'll be cremated and my ashes sprinkled over my shrink's toupee.

It was so important for me just to have my ex feel good in bed. The low point was when I started to sing, 'Here we go, orgasm! Here we go!' And then when it finally happened, running a victory lap - that was sad. And the high fives, wasn't that unnecessary?

Life's a beautiful thing. With every passing day I have more to worry about.

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